The night the police came to the door, was the night before Mother's Day. He had already been gone nearly 24 hrs. We weren't sure of the details, just that he'd died as a result of a car accident. I remember crumbling to my knees and screaming out.."NO NO NO, NOT MY JARED, NOT MY SON". What a most unimaginably horrible way to enter into Mother's Day. I didn't know what to do. I cried and cried, as my daughter and son wandered aimlessly through the house. I was totally beside myself. I didn't know what I was doing. I wanted to comfort my children, but I didn't know how. I remembering calling my best friend, Debbie..I screamed into the phone..."Jared was killed in a car accident". She said she'd be right here. When she arrived, I was a mess. We cried together. I thought I was going to lose my mind. The phone was ringing off the hook, friends of the family were showing up, it was after 11:00 pm. I went to bed around 5:00 a.m., but only managed to get an hour and a half of sleep. I cried all night, I didn't know what else to do. I was afraid to go to sleep, as I remember thinking, if I wake up and it wasn't a bad dream, I'd be waking up to the reality that my beautiful boy was gone. I don't know how I even got through that night, without losing my mind. I remember telling everybody I talked to.."Whatever you do..DO NOT wish me a Happy Mother's Day, because it is far from that!" What a most horrendous way to get news..it's the ultimate in "news you don't ever want to hear." Every parent's worse nightmare. And here I was, dealing with it, myself.